Yesterday was kinda emotional for me personally. I learned while scrolling on Facebook that a friend of mine I went to college with died. What a thing to scroll and see. We hadn't been close in over 20 years, but I kept up with her a bit via social media.
I knew she had been battling (for lack of a better word) with breast cancer for a while. Beating it, then having it come back harder and faster. I remember reaching out to her a year or so ago with a website that offered a different approach to treating/healing cancer, but she never responded. And that was okay with me. We are all on our own journey and experience what we choose to experience.
Even being the spiritual person that I am and knowing that we never truly die, it still got me as I read the kind words of her close friends and family about her passing. She has kids close to the same age as mine. My heart goes out to them for sure.
And within a few minutes (literally) of reading about her passing, I stumbled across an article in the paper about the teacher from my son's school who was arrested a few short weeks ago for indecent liberties with a minor. They have discovered much more about him and that his behavior may have been going on for a long, long time. Now 10 kids have come forward. It hurts my heart to think that one person can cause so much pain to kids no less.
As I said, yesterday was kinda rough in the emotions department. It is okay for me to feel the huge range of emotions that I am feeling. It is quite healthy in fact. I go from being sad to mad in an instant.
I have empathy for the teacher and I want to kill him all in the same breath. I feel sad for the loss of an old friend and I wonder if she could have beaten the cancer had she taken my advice. I will never know exactly what either of these people were thinking, feeling, experiencing in their lives.
All I want to do is hug my kids and live each moment to the fullest. You only have this moment to be. We never really know what will happen in the future. I am choosing to be here more than not. Instead of worrying about the future, how about we all just take a breath and enjoy the air we are inhaling?
If you don't me well, you won't know that I am a "get it done" kind of gal. I love taking action! I am kinda fearless that way. My philosophy is "Why not try it?" with most things. I am NOT a daredevil by any means though. I just mean in my business, I will try most anything. When opportunities come my way, I most often say yes, because why not?
I love this about myself actually. I am not afraid to try, but where I can fall short is in the more flowing allowing side of things. I am usually so focused on doing that I sometimes forget to let it go and relax. I know this about myself, so I am ahead of the game on that. But every so often I will catch myself in that "doing" mode, where I am allowing myself (my choice you see) to get all wonky and off center (no one does this to me, I allow it).
I found myself doing this the other day with blogging. I was writing daily here in this little blog, and it was becoming just another thing to check off my to do list. I wasn't feeling the joy. It was becoming a "have to". When you do things from a place of joy and fun, it just feels good. If it moves on over to the "have to" or "should do" side of things, that is where you gotta stop yourself and regroup for a bit.
I mean who says I HAVE TO blog every single day? "They" do. Why do I care about that? That is the question worth my time answering. And the answer is, I do not care what "they" say about it. I am pretty damn consistent in all of my efforts.
This advice I am dishing out today goes for pretty much anything in your life. If you find yourself doing something that you just don't really wanna do any longer, I invite you to pause and ask why you are doing it? Is it because you want to or feel you have to? You can always change your perspective about the thing, you can just stop doing it, or you can continue to do the thing even though you hate it.
As always, you are the powerful creator in your life and you get to choose your experience!!
I love Sundays. And not because of church, because I don't attend church. I haven't done that for years and years. No, I love Sundays because I have no plans on Sundays. None. Not one (most times that is). And I am kinda dorky in that I love doing my weekly grocery shopping on Sunday mornings when the stores are super quiet. I love Trader Joe's at 8:00am on a Sunday. It is like I have the store to myself and the music is awesome. I have been known to sing and dance a bit a TJ's!!
I love coming home and putting all the groceries away too. It is weird right? I love it. I love knowing that I have a meal plan for the week and that I know what's for dinner during the week. If I don't have some idea of a meal plan, we tend to eat out or get take out. I am busy during the week, and the last thing I want to worry about is dinner.
I also like getting all the laundry done on Sundays and cleaning the house. I am one of these ladies who does not mind doing laundry plus it is one of my daughter's chores to help me. In fact both kids have their weekly chores to do each Sunday. It really is no big deal. But as I get busier with my business during the week, I don't do housework on weekdays besides simple daily stuff.
And then after all that is done, I just chill. I go to the dog park sometimes, go for a walk with the family, read, nap, whatever floats my boat. In general I recharge, and I love it.
How do you spend your Sundays?
Some days are just busy with real life stuff. Yesterday was such a day for me. Girl Scouts first thing, then selling Girl Scout cookies for three hours in the wind and cold in front of Walmart, and then basketball. I didn't exercise. I didn't meditate. I didn't worry about what I ate at all (not that I ever do any longer).
I did write. I do that daily. I did post on social media a bit. I did drink lots of water. And I did not worry about any of it. Some days are just like that. Yes I have my daily routine of self care, but every so often I am just occupied with other things and that is okay. I am able to go with the flow sometimes. I don't make that a habit where I neglect my needs, but on those days where my schedule is packed with other stuff that needs to get done, I modify, I bend a bit.
I don't feel angry or frustrated by this at all. I am grateful actually that I get to do Girl Scouts with my daughter. I love selling GS cookies at cookie booths. People are so funny, and they are super supportive of helping the girls. And I get to do that with my daughter. I love watching my daughter play basketball. I get to do that! I am so lucky!
I still have my non-negotiables like making the time to write daily, but I am flexible as to when I do this. I am not totally tied to a fixed, rigid schedule with it.
Being in balance to me means being able to go with the flow of my personal needs and wants and all the other stuff that needs to get done. I am a wife and mother as well as a badass spiritual babe! I love all aspects of me and my life!! I am so lucky!
Yesterday I was made aware of an email issue, specifically some folks are receiving blank emails from me even though there is content. Being the curious gal that I am, I set about to fix this issue. Well, I figured out a few things, asked a few questions, inquired with both my email provider and Gmail people, and I still do not know how to fix this problem!!
Do you ever do that? Just keep digging and digging, never admitting defeat? Some call that gumption or tenacity. Some call that stubborn or bull-headed.
All in your perspective I guess. There are those who say to just pay someone to fix it so that you can spend your time in your zone of genius. I tend to be of the camp that I want to figure it out for myself. I get a weird and awesome pleasure of doing that, knowing that I can do it and don't have to hire someone to do it. But I am hands on in that way. Admitting defeat? Never!!
As this saga unfolds, I will keep you updated. I know you are vastly interested in my emailing struggles. Until then, have a great weekend.
I had a crazy dream last night. I am not even sure it was a dream, or if I was in fact time traveling. Nonetheless, I woke up to a blaring alarm, kinda out of it!
My usual routine was disrupted. I like to ease into my morning by having a quiet half hour to just sit and have a cup of coffee, scrolling social media and waking up. But with the crazy wake up alarm (I usually wake up before the alarm goes off), and then my daughter waking up early, my routine went out the door.
It was fine, but different. And this got me thinking a bit about all the routines we have in our lives. How we wake up and do certain things every single day, like clockwork. How we take the same roads and routes to the places we frequent. How we go to the same restaurants and shop at the same stores.
There is nothing wrong with this of course, but at times we can find ourselves in a rut. I have written about this before, but it was on my mind again this morning.
Just for fun, what can you do today that is totally different and out of your routine? It may feel weird or downright uncomfortable, but try it anyway. I wonder if you might enjoy getting out of the day to day routine and into some new energy.
I am going to try this little experiment, and I will report back tomorrow.
I totally spaced yesterday. I forgot to write a blog post. I had been doing so well with writing everyday. But I got busy yesterday and totally spaced.
When I realized this morning that I didn't blog yesterday, my first reaction was to get mad at myself. Then immediately I stopped that nonsense. So what? Who really cares if I miss one day or two or a week? It is a-o-k!!
Here is the thing, you can set a goal for yourself (for me it was blogging everyday). And it is fine if it doesn't go like you "planned" it to go. There will be days that you just don't follow through. Of course you want to do your best with all goals you have for yourself (providing it is a goal you really desire), but falling off the wagon now and again is human.
Just get back on the horse the next day and keep of keeping on!
Life is way too short to berate yourself about such things.
I don't always have a topic in mind when I sit down to write. Sometimes I just start typing (my preferred way) and see what wants to come forward.
Last night I went to a parent meeting in regards to the teacher who was arrested last week (was that just last week). The room was full of parents, and the energy was palpable. As with all things, there were some parents who were angry, some who were sad and all the feels in between.
I decided to attend this meeting to find out what details I could about this once loved teacher who it appears is in fact a sexual predator, even though the details have not been released.
I also decided to go to this heavy meeting to anchor the light. I got there early and set up a light grid, inviting all the Archangels and light rays. I felt like this meeting could easily turn into a hate riot of sorts.
As the meeting went on (and on) it became clear that it was becoming a therapy session for some of the adults. That is fine. We all process in our own way. None of it is right or wrong, it is just our way.
I am not even sure what else I can say about this whole situation except you never know about people. Appearances can be deceiving, and it is vital to listen to all of your gut reactions, know what your children are up to (especially in this age of social media), and hug your kids a lot!
I am glad I went to that meeting and did my part to anchor some light into a very dark situation where trust has been lost.
What a week it was last week. I told you about my son's teacher being arrested already. My daughter had drama at her school as well. My dog who had been sick, got worse over the weekend and is now at the doggie hospital. Like I said, it has been a week!
I am not rehashing this for you to feel bad for me. I am sharing my week because we all have these kinds of weeks, where nothing seems to be going our way. Shit happens to us all. It is how we handle life's surprises is what sets us a part.
Last night I took a really long bath and listened to relaxing music. I just needed the time and space to be alone and soak. I felt so much better afterwards. Today I went to the chiropractor for a much needed adjustment. And I am glad I did.
I am still taking care of my house, my kids and all of that. My dog is still sick and we don't know how long she is going to be away from us. But, by taking some time for me during all of the stress, I feel centered. I know that this too shall pass.
This Sunday morning I decided to watch a spiritual teaching instead of writing first thing. With my cup of coffee in hand, I began to experience the powerful teachings of Matt Khan. I began watching his teachings via YouTube quite a while ago, but I decided I enjoyed the teachings so much that I have purchased a few different offers.
I love how simple it all is, and yet we just make it all so terribly hard at times. It is funny and interesting to me, that a lot of his words I have found myself saying even before I became aware of him and his teachings. I always kinda felt like an outsider in the spiritual community for my thoughts and feelings about the world.
So, for me personally when I found Matt Khan, I felt like I was in a safe space of feeling understood (not that I needed it, but I desired it). One of my favorite teachings is this notion of truth. I love when he says, it is all truth. It just might not be your truth. I love that. This pulls us out of the I am right and you are wrong crap that we can fall into. My truth is my truth based on where I am right now and what I am experiencing. And your truth is your truth. And we are both right.
I get really annoyed when someone tries to shove their truth down my throat. It happens sometimes on social media with other well-meaning spiritual folks. What if we just let go of all of that and just decided to live our truth in love? No one likes to be told they are wrong or what they are thinking and feeling is not true. Says who? If I am choosing to experience something, it IS my truth in this moment.
Needing to shove your truth (no matter how true you think it is), is YOUR ego trying to prove how right you are. It doesn't feel good, and it never works anyway.
If you have never heard of Matt Khan, check him out. I find his work to be pretty darn cool, but hey that is just my truth.
Caroline Nixon is
a psychic healer and teacher who wrote two books about what she knows.