Howdy all! Tis the season to be jolly? Not for everyone. For lots of folks, this time of year brings with it stress and sadness. The stress part we do to ourselves. We do. Sorry to tell you that, but it is your choices during this time of year (and every other time) that give you the experiences your are living. How many times do you say yes to an event or to bake cookies for your kids' school or to a party you would rather not go to or have family stay with you even though they drive you bonkers?
I am not saying that you should just lock your doors and wait for December to be over, although that sounds nice sometimes. No, I am saying that before you say "Sure I will do ________", you stop and take a breath. Then ask yourself if you really want to do whatever it is you are being asked to do. You may really want to bake 4 dozen cookies for your kids' school or maybe you just don't like to bake. Could you perhaps just buy the damn cookies? Yes, absolutely.
If it is hard for you to say no to requests, that is about you. You might want to look at why you cannot say no. Are you afraid someone won't like you any longer? Honestly if that is the case, I am going to give you some tough love here. Who the bleep cares if they don't like you! There are those folks out there in the world who will take, take, take all the freaking time. Do you really want that type of person in your life? Only you can answer that.
Now the sadness people experience this time of year is usually due to the loss of a loved one. I totally get this. I have lost both of my parents, and this time of year can feel a bit melancholy knowing that my parents will never meet my husband or my kids. But I happen to believe that they come around from time to time and check us all out. I have felt their presence. Because I happen to believe we move on to do other stuff after we die, it gives me some comfort. Not everyone believes that, and that is cool with me.
I suppose the best thing you can do with that sadness is just remember the good times with your loved ones who have passed, while making choices to do what makes you happy during the holidays. Society tells us to be polite and if we make choices for our happiness it can be seen as selfish, but this is false. Making choices from a place of honoring what is best for us is truly the best for everyone. Who wants to be around someone who clearly doesn't want to be there but is because they think they "have to"? Not me my friend. Choose what makes you happy, then everyone around you will feel that happiness. It uplifts us all.
If you do decide to do something that you really don't want to do, plaster a smile on your face cause I don't want to hear how miserable you are. Until next time...
Caroline Nixon is
an intuitive healer and teacher who wrote two books about what she knows.